but actually medieval cooking is the best cooking. “Let’s make some shit up! And then make it bigger! And light it on fire! And dress it in armor riding a roast pig in barding! Fuck yeah!”
THROW SOME ALMONDS AT IT
GRIND IT THROUGH A SIEVE
CUT IT UP AND PACK SALT ALL AROUND IT THEN POUR VINEGAR ON IT WHILE LAUGHING MADLY
NOW PUT SAFFRON ON IT AND CARVE IT INTO THE SHAPE OF ANOTHER FOOD ENTIRELY
GOOD WE’RE DONE HERE
Don’t forget to put sugar all over it because you are a rich-ass motherfucker.